I pulled the safety pin on my EMP device and tossed it towards the far wall of the bridge. It clanged loudly when it hit the floor and there was a sudden silence on the bridge as all eyes were wondering what it was or where it came from.BOOM!Crackle, bzzzt, pshzzzt, pop and the entire bridge went dark for a few seconds before their emergency lights began to glow.Showtime!{The following was all in their language, which, FYI, sounds a lot like talking with your mouth overly stuffed with pretzels and peanut butter.}I appeared, which made every one of them gasp. (Or fart or belch, it’s hard to tell with these guys!)I pointed my pistol at the Captain, just as 5 of them reached for their weapons. The thing was, only two of them still had one!“Freeze, put your hands up!”They must have never seen an American cop movie before. That, or they were retards, since they looked confused by my order. (Yes! I said it in their language!)I took the first guy who was drawing his weapon and pitched him. "What could I say? I didn't know where to start. I wanted to comfort her, but not as much as I wanted to steal her away from him. My mouth opened, and then closed again without making a sound. She started to cry."I love him, but he's such an asshole. You should hear the things he says. He said that when he leaves me, I'll have you if I want. He, well ... he claims you're in love with my butt."However true that sentiment was, an urge to steer the conversation elsewhere seized me."If he's such an asshole, why do you stay with him?" I don't know. It's hard to explain. He's so forceful, so demanding, that it makes me crazy. But I like it too, you know? I'm drawn to it."She had this faraway look then, and hearing her talk about him that way didn't make me happy."So why don't you do it, then? Let him have what he wants?"She stifled a little sob."I did try. But it just didn't work. No matter how slow he tried to go, it just wouldn't fit. It hurt so much," she said, her tears getting stronger.
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